EXPATS AGAIN! Experiencing other cultures while enriching our global view.



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Munich, Germany
I am married to the love of my life and am finally able to shower him with all of the attention he deserves. I am now retired and living the life here in Europe. I am an American, he is an Australian, and this is our second overseas address. The first was Shanghai, China and now Munich, Germany. Come along and live the life with us as we continue our adventure of discovering all Europe has to offer.

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Tuesday, January 25, 2011


Please excuse me because I'm going to rant today; not because I think life is terrible, because life has been awfully good to me.  I have a wonderful husband who I adore and who loves me equally.  I have happy healthy grown children with lovely grandchildren for me to enjoy.  We have been amply blessed in the work/job/income area.  We are both healthy, we have heaps of friends and extended family, so you might be asking yourself, "Then what does she have to complain about?"

I suffer from plain old jealousy, that's what.  Don't get me wrong, I don't envy very much.  Material things don't impress me because that's just what they are, "material," and to me that reads--temporary.  Temporary because it isn't long after you've acquired that special "something" that you just "had to have" that it's luster wears off and you're on to the next big thing.

I figured this scam out somewhere in my forties (wish it had been sooner) and now, ahem...a good while later, I have seen through the ruse.  There is nothing material I need or want--in fact, I'm continually giving or throwing things away.  Other than necessities, I can't think of any "thing" that would give me pleasure that lasts.

Now, when it comes to loved ones, that's an entirely different matter.  I cherish my time with those I love and I would trade any material possession over time with them, if it ever came to that.  Time spent with my close friends and family is what life is all about.  No one will care what car I drove or what jewelry I wore when I leave this planet, but they will remember that I was there in their time of need, that I cared for them deeply, and that I shared in the laughter and fun that life gave us.  That is what I become "envious" of--being with those I care about.

A week from today, my husband needs to return to the states to renew his Greencard (he is Australian).  He will spend a week there and needs to be in Cleveland where the INS offices are and also where my first son and his family lives.  He will stay with them while he is in Cleveland and then drive to our home in Toledo where my second son and his family lives.  

How unfair is that?  I am sooo jealous, I can't tell you.  I can't rationalize any way for me to accompany him, and believe me, I've tried.

First, it is only for a week and second, it is financially irresponsible to take hundreds of dollars out of our account for such a short visit.  His company is paying his way in order to get the Greencard.

 I could stay longer and justify the expense, but we have just returned from three weeks in Australia and I have been absent from my weekly bridge group, my book club, my gym (oh how I need to get back into my routine), my knitting group, and my friends who keep asking, "When can we get together?"  It's funny, you know, I now feel an obligation to be here whereas our first year here I felt only obliged to what was happening in the states.  I guess I've found the life here I wanted and when I am away, I miss what is going on here.  For instance, the week my husband is away, I am scheduled to attend an art exhibit, an evening out with friends at a comedy club, lunch with a dear friend, a shopping excursion with another friend, bridge, and Needlers.  I have been away so long that it has been a month now since I've seen my friends.

No, it would be terribly wrong for me to be that selfish and leave my life here just because the yellow-eyed demon of jealousy has struck again.  Grrrrr, how to come to terms with it?  I think that in all of our 11 years of marriage (yes, this is a second marriage for both of us), never has my husband been so fortunate to see my children/grandchildren when I haven't been with him and yes, it seems unfair--to me, but not my boys or husband.

My boys are ecstatic!  Yea!  They get to chum with pops and let me tell you, he is a father to them in every way imaginable.  He has loved them as his own and they in turn love him to pieces.  They are so excited that they have forgotten that I, their mother, might be a bit sad that I won't be seeing them too.  In fact, I don't think it's crossed their minds yet. They have been emailing him and telling him how much they look forward to his visit and on an on.

Kinda makes a mom feel left out.

Kinda makes a mom proud that her sons love her husband so much.


The Honourable Husband said...

It's a luxury problem. But a problem, nonetheless.

I'd blow a few hundred bucks to travel with the hubby, no matter how short. In fact, I've done so before.

You may recall the old book about "shoe money". That shoes justify the expense beyond all objective measures of value.

"Travel money" is like that For me.

Still, I'd take comfort in lunches, exhibitions, bridge and all the unique pleasures that a life in Munich can offer. Your phrase "I guess I gound the life here I wanted..." intrigues me. I trust you'll reflect on this in a blogpost, soon.


Now, as if to confirm your decision to stay in Germany and enjoy coffee and cake with friends, the word verification for this comment---I kid you not--is "Tchibo"

Joyce said...

That is hard...its nice for your hubs though : ) Enjoy your week of routine too...after being away it always feels good to get back to normal stuff.

Expats Again said...

HH, I certainly will post about our decision to live in Germany permanently, thanks for the prompt to do so. I love your idea of travel money "justifying the expense beyond all objective measures of value." I think you are so right in this observation and I share your commitment to friends and family.

Tchibo, eh? Now that is eerie and not the first time a reader has read a particularly significant word verification to me. Makes you wonder....

Expats Again said...

Joyce, you get it. Decisions, decisions. It's difficult wanting to be two places at the same time. But I'm liking HH's idea about travel money. What to do.

May said...

This is how I feel at times...I wish I had all the money in the world to go home and meet my loved ones!!!!