EXPATS AGAIN! Experiencing other cultures while enriching our global view.



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Munich, Germany
I am married to the love of my life and am finally able to shower him with all of the attention he deserves. I am now retired and living the life here in Europe. I am an American, he is an Australian, and this is our second overseas address. The first was Shanghai, China and now Munich, Germany. Come along and live the life with us as we continue our adventure of discovering all Europe has to offer.

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010


     It's my first, it's Wednesday, "Pour Your Heart Out" post, and we'll just have to see if I'm able to follow through each Wednesday.  My blog is mostly about our Expat experiences, our travels, our family, and every so often I comment on local (German) events or the events back home, in Ohio. Nothing too deep and nothing too controversial is my thinking.   Yet, like everyone, I from time to time have thoughts, feelings, and emotions, that need to be expressed.   I just don't think a public blog is the right place for that--(just my opinion).  However, I find it fascinating to read others' blogs who do just that--pour out their hearts. 
  Then, one day I came across the blog of a rally astute young gal and noticed her  button and her challenge.  Her blog, Things I Can't Say , is amazingly honest and forthright.  She is a young mother of three boys and still finds time to blog regularly, amongst her other activities.  After reading her entries in "Pour Your Heart Out" and her challenge for her readers to try it, I decided I'd give it a go.
     So, for this first entry, I've decided to pour my heart out about mothers and daughters.  Now, I'm no expert in parenting and, in fact, I'm not even the mother of a daughter.  But I have taught and observed the behavior of teenage girls for 30 years and I am also, afterall, my own mother's daughter.  So I'm inclined to think that these facts give me some credence when it comes to commenting on mothers and daughters.
     Today, let me say, I am pouring out that I am heartsick for daughters of mother's who want to promote their child at any cost.  I'm referring to those mothers who try to relive their lives through their daughters' lives. Believe me when I say that I have witnessed many such mothers throughout my teaching career. The scenario may change, the calendar may change, but the mothers truly are the same. 
     These are the  mothers who allow their daughters-- no.... allow is not the right verb--approve of their daughters' poor choices because they fear that should they disapprove, their daughter will not be liked, will be unpopular, or will not get the guy--(probably the one they never got in school, is my guess). All share the same quality, insecurity. 
     Oh, they will protest, justify, and even get angry at the thought that anyone could accuse them of such blatant daughter-promotion. They will insist that there is nothing wrong with the way they mother and argue that all of the girls that their daughter associates with are doing the same thing.  
      But let me tell you, it is denial, plain and simple. 
     Think I'm wrong?  Think I am just a member of the older generation who isn't as hip as I could be?  You might be right, but how could any mother condone this?  And for what reason have they allowed it to happen to their sweet innocent 7 year old daughter? 
     I am just heartsick after having viewed this and I hope you are too. 
     I would hate to believe that this is acceptable in any mother's world. 
     Oh, and please let me know if you share my sentiment or if this is totally acceptable in your opinion.  I would love to hear from you.

Vezi mai multe video din Sport


blueviolet said...

I've seen far too many mothers doing that vicarious living through their daughters firsthand. It's not right!

Sneaker Teacher said...

The sad thing is that these little girls are such amazing dancers...they would do well in a competition without those costumes and provocative moves. The skills and technical abilities that they show are not the sexy moves...they could show talent without that sexy stuff. It's not even the song necessarily either...but I do think that they could have followed the "less is more" and done better by being a little less over the top and would have still done a great job in their competition.

G in Berlin said...

I'm not going to watch it because I can tell from the photo that I am disgusted.
I so disapprove of the objectification of women and how could this done to children be anything other than horrible?

PiNG aka Patti said...

The people that I am most upset with is the dance teachers who choreographed this number. Parents are paying for their girls to attend dance class and my guess is that most of them had no idea this was the number the girls were working on until it was time for competition. These girls are actually extremely talented for their age and it's a shame that the dance teacher chose to exploit them rather than to showcase their talents.

C said...

I don't like this and don't mean to defend this objectification but do want to point out that this choreography seemed almost spot-on out of what Beyonce would have in one of her videos. I think the dance moves here are influenced heavily by pop culture and pop culture provides a lot of teachable moments, both for parents and for teachers. It makes me sad that adults aren't using those teachable moments as they should, but I'd be hesitant to place blame on parents who are trying to live vicariously through their children (did you HEAR all those people cheering those girls on?)... ever see Olive's dance in Little Miss Sunshine?